25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ..
'If you're going to kill each other, do it
Outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the
Carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to
Knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
'Because I said so,that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
You're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case
You're in an accident.'

7. My mo ther taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
About.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your
Neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is
Gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through
it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million
Times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you
Out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mot her taught me about ENVY .
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this
World who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes,they are
Going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when
You are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't
Come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll
Never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born
in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll
understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn
out just like you



Thanks Mom !

Joe alot of that sounded very familiar

Its all so very true

I can still hear her voice........

I like #20. That`s hillarious!

Joe all of these are things that I've heard as a child, but, you forgot one mother would say "mark my words". Most of the time it was followed with a phrase like " you'll be sorry"or " you'll regret that some day".

no "mark my word", was never said by my mother, that was my father.
How true

Damn, I recognize myself in alot of the statements above. Although I'm not a mother just a divorced father trying to educate my 3 kids in the "finer" points of life!